Rest In Peace

My Aunt Arlene passed away Wednesday night. She has been sick for quite some time, and so we've all had time to prepare for it. I guess in a way, it hurts less? I didn't know her well. I've only seen her a few times in my life. I adored her though - she was fun and spunky. I can't believe she's gone. I feel guilty for crying because I did not know her well. I don't think I deserve to cry, as compared to her children or grandchildren or husband. I wish I had gotten to know her better. I always meant to write, but procrastinated. She was 63...just imagine...all the stories she had to tell...all the stories now lost.
My mother and father just left for the airport...they will attend the funeral tomorrow, and be back late afternoon Sunday. They were aprehensive about leaving me, my brother, and my aunt Tina to fend for ourselves. We're not exactly the most mature of people I admit. Mom worries we'll forget to feed the dogs. "What shall I get at the store for you guys to make for dinner?" she fretted. I said, "Mom, I never eat anyway!" Sheesh. No worries. Everything will be fine. (Famous last words hahaha) *ahem*
I'll be ok.
I just remembered my birthday! In the fall, I started planning my big birthday party for July. 20 years old is a big deal! Officially an adult! I would invite all my family from everywhere, we'd rent a big banquet hall with all the works. The person I was most excited about inviting was my Aunt Arlene, since she had been saying forever that she would come visit us. When she got sick in December, I put it on hold, and she's just gotten worse and worse since. Now I don't care about my party; I don't feel like doing anything. Oh well. I will be taking a trip to New York a few weeks before my birthday; we'll call that my celebration.

lyrics from my favorite movie:

Wishing you were
somehow here again . . .
wishing you were
somehow near . . .
Sometimes it seemed
if I just dreamed,
somehow you would
be here . . .
Wishing I could
hear your voice again . . .
knowing that I
never would . . .
Dreaming of you
won't help me to do
all that you dreamed
I could . . .